Possession

Use the apostrophe to indicate possession:

The surgeon’s scalpel shook so badly that Brad’s soft and succulent brain ended up looking like vanilla ice cream smothered in ketchup.

Jessica’s saucy blue eyes were more perilous than a Venus Flytrap–Dirk, poor devil, was the fly.

Add ‘s to nouns that do not end in s.

I stared, fascinated and repelled, by Conchita’s dangerous-looking liverwurst.

Add ‘s to singular nouns that end in s.

I would sell my soul to the devil for one of Bob’s freaky-deaky bagels.

Add only an apostrophe (no s) to nouns that are plural and end in s.

Those penniless savages chased me through the streets of Fez, ruining my Louis Vuitton wingtips’ perfect shine.

Contractions

It’s good to be a woman, but better to be a French fry.

I simply can’t go on—not without George’s loud and smoky laughter.

Fix:

Stacys lambchops and loins are juicy enough for a casual breakfast on the veranda, but not for the sort of fine dining the ambassador has grown accustomed to in Mumbai.

Dont eat that Napolean, unless you want to add gluteus to your maximus.

On a bad day, theres always lipstick; on a good day, theres Elvis’ grilled banana and peanut butter sandwiches.